I was in my appointed seat, the front passenger one where MS TBO thinks she has squatting rights, but she wasn't along. We stopped in front of this big cave looking thing and a guy in a blue jumpsuit gave the windows a bath. Of course he didn't get the insides, which I decorate every time I ride. So after he gives the windows a bath, the truck starts going very slowly into the cave. Then it rained.

I don't mind rain as long as there is no thunder. Then, all of a sudden these huge towels started slapping the sides and front of my truck. They made a loud popping sound and I was so scarred that I hopped all 70 pounds of me into TBO's lap. He was laughing at me and I was frightened, but then he started rubbing my ears and talking really nice so I sort of settled down. Then the bad part started.

These big yellow snakes started hissing and waving all over the outside of the truck. The rain was blowing off the window they hissed so hard. Well, every gal has her limits and I was so frightened, in spite of TBO's efforts to calm me down, that, well... the ol' sphincter just got so upset that it sort of... you know... relaxed. TBO began to scream ("Molly - No! Molly - Stop! and a few words that are considered rude in polite company), even louder that the snakes' hissing as he realized that his lap was somewhat warmer than he expected.  He couldn't hurry up because another car was ahead of us and I couldn't stop until my bladder was pretty well empty.

Well, after we got home and TBO realized that he had saved $2.50 over the regular car wash, he began to calm down. His shower and a change of clothes helped. Besides, after three years, that new truck leather smell was bound to wear off. He goes to the car wash alone now, and I believe that we both benefit from this.

Rare Blue Basset Hound in Los Angeles!
copyright Bill James

Very rare and very blue, leaning toward florescent or neon. ClioPatra and Bosley may head off to their new home later this week. A family visited recently and want to adopt both. TBO, really trying to be helpful, decided to give us all baths. Remembering that there was a suggestion on the back of Mrs. Stewart's Liquid Bluing saying that "...a few drops in clear rinse water is a blue ribbon winner for pets," he decided to brighten ClioPatra's mostly white coat. 

As is often the case, The Bearded One apparently had his head stuck about two inches below where his tail would be (if he had one) and forgot the "few drops" part. Dumping about one-half cup of bluing into what was once a tan Tupperware pitcher, he filled the pitcher with warm water, poured it over the already clean Clio, waited a couple of minutes (who knows why) and began to rinse. And rinse. And rinse. For over forty-five minutes he rinsed. Then he tried Simple Green, 409, Head and Shoulders, dish washing detergent and MY entire $25 bottle of special from the vet only shampoo.

I am glad to say that ClioPatra is still a tri-color. Tan, black and bright blue, but still a tri-color . Now in trendy Southern California this may be acceptable but it should not be. Mrs. Stewart herself says to soak the fabric in ammonia to remove the stains. I suppose that we should be glad that poor Clio was not subject to that treatment. Still, it makes one wonder if there shouldn't be some sort of training, permits and a general IQ test before one can own a dog. Clio, by all rights, should rip his throat out while he sleeps tonight, but she is a proper lady and seems to be taking it all in stride. I am hoping that Clio's new parents will like their electric Basset!

The Ever Patient and Not Easily Surprised Miss Molly